Question

The following is a sample thesis. The underlined portion needs revision and clarity. Revise to strengthen the claim being presented. "Consumers are easily fooled by advertisements because they always want more stuff and are willing to pay for it."

Answer 1

The correct answer is the following.

You did not underline any portion, but let me help you with this consideration. We can revise and make it more clear this part: “easily fooled”. Let’s make it more formal for a thesis.

We know that a strong statement is a key element when writing a thesis. So what if we change it to: “Consumers need to shop in a smart way in order to better manage their income.” What we are doing here is to create a more powerful sentence and not leave it as common affirmation. Our new thesis statement is more formal, more academic and it is specific.